New e-Magazine: Thrive in Life

I was asked to write articles in a new e-Magazine called "Thrive in Life." It is a great collection of various articles on topics ranging from insight to inspiration. Here is a link to my first contribution:

Thrive in Life

Much of the article is excertped from my book Gifts From the Child Within published in a 2nd Edition in 2008. Here is a link on my web site to view this book:

Gifts From the Child Within 

I hope enjoy learning about your inner child and how to heal past childhood woundedness. Working on issues from our past can be both painful and rewarding--allow yourself time to do this inner work. Many great exercises and insightful ways of dealing with trauma and past negative experiences can be found within this healing book.

Love your Self,

Barbara~

Amazon.com link to buy this book:

Gifts From the Child Within

A Book for Today: 911

Open this book to any page and receive inspiration and hope for recovery from any trauma, especially as experienced by 911. This book contains insight and healing messages for anyone on recovery journey. It was written for addiction recovery, however, can be read by anyone going through recovery from loss, childhood trauma, or current challenges.

Grief's Shadow

I started writing again -- here is my first poem:

Grief’s Shadow


I am living in our physical dimension
My son and husband are living in theirs--
I sense the connection
Like the sound of my chime’s vibration.


I sit, I listen
If I were deaf
Would I grieve the same?


My birds are balanced on the back fence
Playing tag.
The wind chimes singing their metal tune
Claiming the air with sound.


Fall seems imminently close
I will miss the rays of light
Glittering off the cottonwood leaves.
I will miss the warm mornings
On the deck
Silently listening…


My hummingbirds venture to hang in the air
Two feet from my face
To whisper thoughts
Of healing


The summer squash
Is nearly ready--
Sweet yellow jewels


Mr. Jay picks at his black seeds
Nodding to me a ‘thank you.’
Where are you David?
In a classroom of spirits reflecting past journeys?
Sitting beside me smiling that little smile?
Flying again with loved ones?
Where have you gone my beloved?


Our fruit trees withheld their fruit this year, and
David left…


Thank you for all your prayers....
Barbara~

More Reflections...

Hello Everyone,
Many of you know that I have recently lost my husband and that my life has, yet again, taken a curve along my life's path. It is surreal that I would be going through this grief process again so soon...

My words are not flowing like they usually do when I sit down to write; it's like searching for what to say and write instead of opening to the thoughts and automatically letting them shine on the page. I know this will become easier as the weeks and months pass, so I have set aside my new book to write in my personal journal once again. I say "once again" for all those who have read Tales of Addiction know I have been through the pain of loss before.

David, my dear husband, was a gentle, loving, generous man to all he met. He lived a life of a solid work ethic and being of service to those who were in need of his talents. His big smile and shining eyes will be missed by many. Our life together (this lifetime) began when I was fifteen and he was nineteen years old. Sweethearts until his passing, those fifty years seemed to fly by and yet, held many small lifetimes within them. 

One of my dear girl friends resited the poem below at David's memorial service which is so perfect and captures so much of what he loved:

Deep wet moss and cool blue shadows
  Beneath a bending fir,
And the purple solitude of mountains,
  When only the dark owls stir --
Oh, there will come a day, a twilight,
  When I shall sink to rest
In deep wet moss and cool blue shadows
  Upon a mountain's breast,
And yield a body torn with passions,
  And bruised with earthly scares,
To the cool oblivion of evening,
  Of solitude and stars.
                               ~Lew Sarett

Love & Joy,
Barbara~

Reflections...

I have learned many lessons over the past several decades about the ravages that addiction to drugs and alcohol takes from the soul. The devastation spreads from the addicted individual to outer parameters of his/her family and friends until its limits turn inward upon itself to crumble our society and ultimately our nation. While learning to quasi-cope with a loved one’s addiction, it becomes necessary to learn the ins-n-outs of the disease, this is not an easy task. Everyone has their own viewpoint about the specifics of drug and alcohol addiction; therefore, it quickly becomes that following your own inner guidance is a must in unraveling a palatable hypothesis for oneself.

While the decades of my own family’s addiction to alcohol unraveled, I learned there is no right way to love an alcoholic… only that you must. I learned that asking for guidance from others counts, but cannot be the final tally for actions and reactions to ensue. I learned that trusting one’s Self is eminent in the face of danger, fear, and choice; and, that danger, fear, and choice comes even without our addicted loved one’s presence. I learned compassion is sometimes elusive, but always within reach and is a potent healing agent. I learned that tomorrows are in the hands of that Something More which we have all co-created from many soul journeys.

Since the publication of "Tales of Addiction and Inspiration for Recovery" one year ago, I have received many letters supporting the book’s philosophy. I had not thought of my contributing words between the heartfelt addiction stories found within this book to be a philosophy, however, I can discern a common thread stitching my thoughts together. That thread is Compassion. I fast learned with my son’s addiction, without compassion there is no acceptance… without acceptance, there is no love. How can we have compassion for our addicted loved ones? How can we not…

My son’s life lessons also impacted my own. I was able to grasp an understanding of the importance of attaining compassion toward those we do not know. The hundreds of individuals who have connected with me online and off since this book’s release have given me the insight that we can generate compassion for all others throughout the globe. I quote His Holiness The Dalai Lama many times in the book--one quote I especially like is:

“True world peace can only be achieved through peace of mind. And peace of mind springs from a genuine realization that all human beings are brothers and sisters. Different ideologies and different political or economic systems are only secondary; the most important point is that we are all the same human beings, living on one small planet.”

With this knowledge, compassion for all our brothers and sisters seems easy enough, right? But, what about the drug addict on the corner? What about the drunk in the neighborhood bar? Or, the kid down the street smoking pot? Do we have the same compassion for these individuals as we do our brothers and sisters across the globe? Compassion is not to be used selectively… compassion is an open heart for all--addicted or not.

One letter I received after the sender read Tales of Addiction came from a woman trying hard to keep her compassion toward her alcoholic mother. In the letter was a poem she had written, it claims much of my own emotions:

Caught

I hate you, I love you
This back and forth emotion
This up and down feeling
This stop and start life
Breathing in and breathing out
Getting up and falling down
Hiding while crying
Living while dying
Believing in nothing
Questions in the night
My soul in shadow
No one in sight
Bitterness screaming
Hopeful dreaming
Lost and alone
No place called home
Hating you, Loving you
Saving, then losing you
Finally free
Saving me
Learning to breathe
*Printed with permission

In the Introduction of "Tales of Addiction," I wrote, “Addicted or not, we all have stories to tell.” As you find the words to tell your story, search for the lessons you have uncovered. The whys, hows, choices and decisions are not the insights needed to attain in dealing with addiction. Tell the story of the lessons you have discovered from learning how to have compassion for yourself and/or your addicted loved one--tell how these lessons have changed your life. Addicted or not, if we all strive for these lessons in growth, our addiction population will begin to fade.

Another letter I received from a reader, and one of the book’s addiction story contributors, touched my soul deeply. In appreciation, I share it with permission:

Hi Barbara,
I had some time put aside to share as promised about the life changing lesson you and your Richard had taught me after re-reading your "Journal" in Tales of Addiction which I have to say touched me more than words could possibly convey. One of my abrasive attitudes before reading your Journal was that I had made a conscious unmovable decision. After attending so many funerals and memorials for addicts and alcoholics who had passed away from these ravaging diseases, I decided that I was done....

My abrasiveness wasn’t bred from ego, but from the deep heart-wrenching sadness and devastation I felt at someone’s memorial service. I could not stand the feelings and witnessing the family members who were left in the wake of this pain and senselessness.

I read and re-read all you shared and it was as if a light bulb went off…I understood my powerful lesson and I felt deep shame. You are absolutely right in asking us to challenge our thinking as to why someone who lost their battle with addiction is any less worthy of celebrating their life. Are they less important because they had a disease? Perhaps this was their path? Is it any less perfect than ours?

I will be going to memorials now, and funerals, hospitals and institutions. Barbara, I thought God put you in my life for my story of inspiration, but today I know it was because of yours. Thank you. I thank you and Richard for teaching me, helping me to open my heart again and my mind.
With deep affection and gratitude,
Kat

Being open to our lessons in life is not an easy task. But, when learning to have compassion for ourselves and others, it is a requirement if we are to move forward on our soul’s journey. I wish you a safe journey.

Love & Joy,
Barbara~
 

Making Changes...

Beginning again in whatever situation one faces in life can seem like an overwhelming task. Many times life just throws us a curve along our path that seem to take us to a deadend. One of the hardest things is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and we wish to change. We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make changes, and we may have even given up on a certain area in our life. However, each new day offers us the opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the Universe that we are ready for change.


Many times, it is difficult to understand, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made in the past have created our current situations. It is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves about how we arrived in our present situation. If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed at a task or situation, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed. We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that we have done our best. With insight, knowledge, and support, we have made our best decisions for our life in the past. We can remember the many positive moments on our path to this present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, this will help us determine what our current choices might be, and how to go about making them.

When we do this kind of inner work of viewing our past, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to exit the cycle we have been on which keeps us stuck in the past. When we do this kind of inner work of viewing our past, we can declare our intentions to the Universe knowing that we have done what was necessary to allow our lives to change…to begin anew.

Today, you can declare this day to be the day you will end negative habits, cycles, or patterns. You can declare this day to move forward from past emotional pain, anger, and guilt. Today, you can enter into a new way of being. Today, you can declare this day to begin searching for the lessons of past experiences--learn from them, and move into the present!
Love & Joy,
Barbara~

New Beginnings continued...

Let's continue with the topic of New Beginnings --


After an emotional experience, there will be a time for you to bring your life forward, and to be visible on your present stage of life. Choose options that uplift and inspire you, and whenever possible, engage in positive thinking. It may also be time for a health makeover, a change in environment, or a renewal to your outlook on life. Remember, New Beginnings require us to plant new seeds for our future, so make sure those seeds contain all the ingredients to reflect what you desire for your present and future life.

When renewal and New Beginnings are at hand, we need to clarify what has worked for us and what has not so we can choose only that which takes us forward on our journey. We all have the ability to make minor, or even major breakthroughs any time we choose--this can be an exciting concept! It’s called freedom of choice!! Here is a great affirmation you can use to claim this freedom of choice:

"Today, I make the choice to end a cycle or way of being that is not in alignment with my soul’s desire."

Sometimes, we may say to ourselves that we have tried, we have struggled, and we still have not found a way to begin again. If this is true for you, allow yourself to be open to support and guidance from the physical loved ones around you, and also the non-physical masters, teachers, guides, and angels that are always with you. State your intention out loud in prayer or meditation--keep it positive and simple, such as: ”I am creating the changes I need at this time.” Making this declaration to the Divine Universe, and to yourself, may be the remedy for the stagnation you may be experiencing.

More on New Beginnings next time,
Barbara~

New Beginnings

Happy Spring Everyone! This is the time of year for New Beginnings....

We all know that New Beginnings can happen in a instant. By giving ourselves permission to begin a new day, a new path, a new way of thinking-- we can choose to “begin again.” We experience New Beginnings many times in our lives. Take a moment to look at your own life, your past experiences. Think about the new ways in which you have needed to begin again many times throughout your life.

 New Beginnings can happen when you began a new job or career--A new diet or exercise program---A new relationship--A new kind of worship or meditation practice. Also, when you begin a new school or educational training. Have you recently acquired a new pet or had a new baby enter the family? Definitely, a New Beginning! New Beginnings can happen when you have been challenged with a new health issue; or, if you have recently been married, divorced, or even experienced a death of a family member or friend.

 Each time we journey on a new path to experience a New Beginning, it is important to consciously allow ourselves to review, process emotions--especially forgiveness--and learn to accept our new path. Also, before we move toward a New Beginning, it is important to learn the lessons from our past experience. One way to do this is to ask ourselves questions such as: What do I know now that I did not know before this experience? Why was it important for me to learn this truth or lesson? Do I need to forgive others or myself before I move forward?

 I like to remember the following quote from Numerologist Christine DeLorey when thinking about learning lessons from the past: "Stop holding your past at arms length as if you are afraid that it will catch up with you. It's meant to! Let it! The past is filled with knowledge and experience, and what it has to teach you needs to be accepted into the present. Only then will you be able to feel, sense, and create what you want."

Have a wonderful Spring filled with compassion and joy!
Barbara~

Dreams, Intuition, and Metaphysics

I wasn't sure I wanted to post this personal experience, but then after telling it a few times to friends I have decided it may be interesting to others. Many times we disregard our intuitional selves keeping our dreams, visions, insights and hunches to ourselves. But if we are brave enough to share them with others perhaps there would be more like-minded people coming together! So, with this introduction let me tell you the dream I had on the night of the terrible 8.9 Earthquake in Japan. Actually, I realized I was astral traveling!

I was with my husband and daughter walking around Disneyland. My daughter went off in the opposite direction and many other people were very confused. I told my husband I must go look for our daughter and he said, "Okay."
I walked all around seeing people going in many different directions, then I found a sort-of pathway and started down it. I walked for miles but could not find my daughter. Finally, I arrived at a large intersection with five streets coming into it. It was lighted very well with lots of lights and signs and many men were standing around on the corners.
I felt afraid--I was lost. I thought about calling 911 but didn't know if that would work. I had only one "bar" left on my cell phone and was afraid I wouldn't be able to get anyone! I dailed my husband's number. He answered right away and asked, "Where are you?"
I said, "I am lost!"
He asked me to tell him what the street signs said. I looked at them all but they were just "hatch-marks." I could not read them! I told him I could see the Disneyland roller coaster to my right, it looked several miles away. He said he would come try to find me but if he wasn't there in fifteen minutes to try to find a taxi and get back to Disneyland.

Then I woke up!!

That morning I told the dream to my husband and we both laughed. Neither one of us knew of a Disneyland in Japan! But, then I turned on the television to watch the news like we always do in the mornings. The second picture I saw on the screen was hundreds of people sitting on the ground at the Disneyland in Japan!! My husband looked at me and said, "Your dream!!"

I started to cry and felt much pain for the many people I was seeing on the news. No wonder I couldn't read the signs, they were in Japanese! Then I realized my soul (Higher Self) must have been astral traveling in the night to guide many of them.....

I have had many prophetic dreams in my life and this one was as real as if I had been in Japan physically. I believe when there is a need for our Higher Self, our soul, to aid others, it will use all means necessary, even astral travel, to do so. If you had an insightful intuition or dream before or during this horrific event, please share it here or with others. Our soul Self is always trying to guide us if we but listen.....
Namaste'
Barbara~

Reflections

Today is February 23rd. For those who have read Tales of Addiction, you know how important this date is to me and my family. As I reflect upon my experiences surrounding this day two years ago, I began to think about how I have changed. I have learned many lessons over the past several decades about the ravages that addiction to drugs and alcohol takes from the soul. The devastation spreads from the addicted individual to outer parameters of his/her family and friends until its limits turn inward upon itself to crumble our society and ultimately our nation. While learning to quasi-cope with a loved one’s addiction, it becomes necessary to learn the ins-n-outs of the disease, this is not an easy task. Everyone has their own viewpoint about the specifics of drug and alcohol addiction; therefore, it quickly becomes that following your own inner guidance is a must in unraveling a palatable hypothesis for oneself.

While the decades of our own family’s addiction turmoil unraveled, I learned there is no right way to love an alcoholic… only that you must. I learned that asking for guidance from others counts, but cannot be the final tally for actions and reactions to ensue. I learned that trusting one’s Self is eminent in the face of danger, fear, and choice; and, that danger, fear, and choice comes even without our addicted loved one’s presence. I learned compassion is sometimes elusive, but always within reach and is a potent healing agent. I learned that tomorrows are in the hands of that Something More which we have all co-created from many soul journeys.

Since the publication of Tales of Addiction and Inspiration for Recovery one year ago, I have received many letters supporting the book’s philosophy. I had not thought of my contributing words between the heartfelt addiction stories found within this book to be a philosophy, however, I can discern a common thread stitching my thoughts together. That thread is Compassion. I fast learned with my son’s addiction, without compassion there is no acceptance… without acceptance, there is no love. How can we have compassion for our addicted loved ones? How can we not…

My son’s life lessons also impacted my own. I was able to grasp an understanding of the importance of attaining compassion toward those we do not know. The hundreds of individuals who have connected with me online and off since this book’s release have given me the insight that we can generate compassion for all others throughout the globe. I quote His Holiness The Dalai Lama many times in the book--one quote I especially like is:

“True world peace can only be achieved through peace of mind. And peace of mind springs from a genuine realization that all human beings are brothers and sisters. Different ideologies and different political or economic systems are only secondary; the most important point is that we are all the same human beings, living on one small planet.”

With this knowledge, compassion for all our brothers and sisters seems easy enough, right? But, what about the drug addict on the corner? What about the drunk in the neighborhood bar? Or, the kid down the street smoking pot? Do we have the same compassion for these individuals as we do our brothers and sisters across the globe? Compassion is not to be used selectively… compassion is an open heart for all--addicted or not.

One letter I received after the sender read Tales of Addiction came from a woman trying hard to keep her compassion toward her alcoholic mother. In the letter was a poem she had written, it claims much of my own emotions:

Caught

I hate you, I love you

This back and forth emotion

This up and down feeling

This stop and start life

Breathing in and breathing out

Getting up and falling down

Hiding while crying

Living while dying

Believing in nothing

Questions in the night

My soul in shadow

No one in sight

Bitterness screaming

Hopeful dreaming

Lost and alone

No place called home

Hating you, Loving you

Saving, then losing you

Finally free

Saving me

Learning to breathe

                                                *Printed with permission

In the Introduction, I wrote, “Addicted or not, we all have stories to tell.” As you find the words to tell your story, search for the lessons you have uncovered. The whys, hows, choices and decisions are not the insights needed to attain in dealing with addiction. Tell the story of the lessons you have discovered from learning how to have compassion for yourself and/or your addicted loved one--tell how these lessons have changed your life. Addicted or not, if we all strive for these lessons in growth, our addiction population will begin to fade.

Another letter I received from a reader, and one of the book’s addiction story contributors, touched my soul deeply. In appreciation, I share it with permission:

Hi Barbara,
I had some time put aside to share as promised about the life changing lesson you and your Richard had taught me after re-reading your "Journal" in Tales of Addiction which I have to say touched me more than words could possibly convey. One of my abrasive attitudes before reading your Journal was that I had made a conscious unmovable decision. After attending so many funerals and memorials for addicts and alcoholics who had passed away from these ravaging diseases, I decided that I was done....

My abrasiveness wasn’t bred from ego, but from the deep heart-wrenching sadness and devastation I felt at someone’s memorial service. I could not stand the feelings and witnessing the family members who were left in the wake of this pain and senselessness.

I read and re-read all you shared and it was as if a light bulb went off…I understood my powerful lesson and I felt deep shame. You are absolutely right in asking us to challenge our thinking as to why someone who lost their battle with addiction is any less worthy of celebrating their life. Are they less important because they had a disease? Perhaps this was their path? Is it any less perfect than ours?

I will be going to memorials now, and funerals, hospitals and institutions. Barbara, I thought God put you in my life for my story of inspiration, but today I know it was because of yours. Thank you. I thank you and Richard for teaching me, helping me to open my heart again and my mind.
With deep affection and gratitude,
Kat

Being open to our lessons in life is not an easy task. But, when learning to have compassion for ourselves and others, it is a requirement if we are to move forward on our soul’s journey. I wish you all a safe journey.
Barbara~